I see the Earth suspended in space,
The Spirit of God moves upon its face.
And then God speaks, "Let there be light,"
His voice divided the darkness of night, 
To reveal the splendor of His countenance bright;
And the glowing magnificence was good in His sight,
But when did He first love me?
The waters above became clouds in the sky;
Waters below became oceans wide.
And the land that was dry was set by the ocean's side,
Creating a tide for the very first time.
The thunderous waves, immeasurable heights,
And peaks of the mountains were good in His eyes,
But when did He first love me?
Out of the ground sprung grass and trees,
Flowers, and fruit bearing seeds.
The sun would rejoice with illuminating heat,
His presence would retreat and the dark sky greet
The moon and the stars, and this would repeat
To make seasons, and days, and years complete.
And God was pleased with all He could see,
But when did He first love me?
The lonely seas were blessed abundantly
With vibrant life to keep them company.
The skies received a beautiful symphony
Of birds harmonizing brilliantly,
And both joined willingly in the ministry
Of praise to the God of infinity 
Who loved them unconditionally, in spite of their futility,
But when did he first love me?
Then on day six He made the mammals,
But they were souless animals;
Valuable, yet relationally incompatible.
And so God decided that He'd make a man, 
It was all according to His ultimate plan,
That was decided before time began,
But when did He first love me?
And now imagine with His almighty hand,
He scoops up the dust from a parcel of land; 
He blows the dust, and then He commands
That the dust take the form of a lifeless man.
As He gazes into the man's deep, empty eyes,
His foreknowledge trasports Him through the portals of time
To the place where this man would disobey 
God's only rule -
Leading to an offspring of fools.
They think they're wise;
Their hearts darkened by vanity and lies,
God's glory they would falsify,
And modify, to justify their sinful lives.
He saw the day that His only son would be crucified,
And then arise to give new life;
And even so, they'd still deny
The God that made them to be the apple of His eye.
And with that knowledge of all time and space,
Face to face with the man that would allow sin to enter into the human race,
God breathed in, His love unfazed,
And breathed the breath of life into the man anyways.
And that's when He first loved me.

Every human being's life is filled with moments of tension, they're crossroads of decision where consequences and blessing are weighed in the balance. Everybody goes one way or the other, nobody stands still but for a moment; there are always choices and decisions to be made. And every so often, the man or the woman who is taking the journey will stop for a moment of reflection. In that moment of reflection, questions are asked, past decisions are analyzed, sentiment, nostalgia, and regret are resurrected; however, one question of reflection rises to the top of the melting pot of memories, "what if?" It is the eternally unanswerable question who's answer lies beyond the intellectual capability of the finite human mind, inside the heart of God. It is the question that has haunted the human race since Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree and set the stage for the blank spaces that reside in the depths of human thought and emotion. It is essentially the result of choosing something else rather than God's best. 

Self-preservation is the motivation behind choosing the "way that seems right to a man." People want to be safe, comfortable, and secure. In the life of the Christian, some sort of provision is always tagged with God's imaginary stamp of approval as a cover up for faithlessness. More times than not, the path of certainty is the path that many a wandering soul has followed because that particular path offered "provision" for the immediate need of the current season. It is likely that this is backward thinking and completely off base as compared to how human beings were created to operate. It is accurate enough to go as far as to say that any decision where provision is expected to precede faith is very likely the wrong decision. Simply put, faith always precedes provision. The path of uncertainty is rarely the path that is followed simply because it appears to offer no tangible solution to the current situation or need; it is a path that appears dim to the natural eye. To the eye of faith, however, it's reward illuminates beyond the horizon of natural eyesight. The eye of faith looks at nothing but God, to a city that has foundations. What if faith isn't safe? 

The real travesty of the whole matter is the fact that many Christians are missing out on the immeasurable manifestation of God's goodness in their lives. They're content with the green shrubbery of Sodom and the lavish delicacies of Egypt, but the soul in search of Canaan sojourns as a pilgrim and stranger on the earth. Bank accounts fatten up, houses are purchased, insurance policies are taken out for everything imaginable (because God forbid there is no return on any potential loss), and the cares of this life infect the mind to the point of spiritual blindness to the reality of what faith actually looks like. How does the Christian that is blessed differ from the unbeliever that seems to be equally blessed? The folks of Sodom and Gomorrah were certainly enjoying the same pleasures that Lot and his family were enjoying, but that did not make them people of faith (they were far from it!). The only quality that separates the Christian from the unbeliever in regards to provision is faith; anybody with a bit of common sense and motivation can be successful, but only a Christian can walk by faith and trust God. God help! How often is God's best ignored and replaced with the world's carnal blueprint for success and provision. 

The story of Abraham and Lot is actually a good, Biblical reference for the matter at hand. Lot was no different from Abraham in that he also left all that he had to go to a land that God would show Abraham. It is important to remember here the words of our Lord, "many are called but few are chosen," which can be re-stated as, "many go in the way but few go all the way." Lot was blessed with cattle and monetary possessions just like Abraham was. Then, after moving in the right direction for a while, Lot came to a crucial crossroads that went on to shape the rest of his life. When given the opportunity to go to the "right or to the left," Lot chose the way of Sodom rather than the way of Canaan. Lot, who's cattle had multiplied to a comparable size as Abraham's, chose the way of Sodom because it offered the best situation for his current need; it was a place well-watered, like the Garden of the Lord. It is implied here that Sodom may have appeared to be more favorable to the eye than the land of Canaan. As the story goes, Abraham continued to sojourn and Lot turned aside to Sodom. Not long after, Sodom was a heap of ashes and Lot was left without a home. In the process of fleeing the destruction (thanks to Abraham's intercession), Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back. 

What if Lot would have sold his cattle and followed Abraham? What if he would have gone somewhere other than Sodom? Would his wife still be alive? Would his children have devoted their lives to God, following the example of their relative Abraham? This is the eternal what if that can be discussed only through the filter of speculation and theory. Lot was given another chance to choose God's best when he fled Sodom. God said, "flee to the mountains and don't look back." The mountains were dangerous, they were a place of uncertainty and mystery. For that reason, Lot requested that God let him and his two daughters "turn aside" to the land of Zoar, because, "it is very small." In Lot's mind, there was very little to fear in Zoar because it was so small; it was safe. Walking by sight rather than walking by faith will always lead to small places that offer not eternal satisfaction. What is amazing is the fact that Lot was actually communicating with God; this tells that it is possible to communicate with God and still choose the wrong path. Eventually, Lot was afraid to remain in little Zoar and left to live in the mountains with his two daughters. The story takes a bizarre turn as Lot, in a drunken state, is manipulated to sleep with each of his two daughters who become impregnated by their father. 

​It is easy to see that the result of Lot's decisions was certainly far from God's best; however, God allowed them anyway. The truth is that most people will do what they want to do because that is what they want to do. There is no deep, philosophical explanation that is needed to explain why. Now and then, some unassuming, naïve, wanderer picks up a Bible and reads about men like Moses (who esteemed the reproach of Christ to be of greater value than Egypt's riches), and Daniel (who refused to eat the king's meat), and Paul (who sacrificed a life of stability and worldly success for the sake of the cross) - and then that man goes and lives the way of the brave souls of the centuries past; he goes the way of uncertainty that few will choose to follow. And as that man follows the lonely path, not expecting a soul to join him because he knows the cost of that path, a stranger with eyes of fire and a voice of raging seas meets him along the way. Now imagine that stranger puts his arm around the brave, yet lonely wanderer, he brings his mouth close to the wanderer's ear and whispers in a still, small voice, "I'm with you to the end." Invigorated by the voice that echoes beyond the cosmos to worlds unknown, and into human hearts that are either listening or ignoring, the wanderer sets his eyes on the uncertain horizon and presses on to a place that only God can see. Goodbye what if, and hello eternity. ​

1 Corinthians 13:9-12

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

    There have been some things weighing on my heart for quite a while now. There are some confessions that I have to make and I stand in need of the forgiveness of everyone. God and I have dealt with this issue deeply, on a spiritual level; it's time, however, that I deal with this issue on a personal, people level. In short, there have been times that I have been the most critical, self-absorbed person to (probably) walk the face of the earth. There have been times that I have accused successful people of being false teachers simply because I perceived that they were more successful than me. There have been times that I thought that I deserved more than what God was seeming to give me because I thought that I was more faithful than the rest. In the (not so distant) past I have been spiritually and emotionally immature. The good news is that God has changed me in this regard, it's been painful but it's also been worth it.
    It all started when I began praying “Search me, O God, and know my heart – Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.” I started asking God to teach me to love as he loves and to empower me with gifts of the Spirit and the assurance of those gifts. In my pursuit of love, God led me (of course) to 1 Corinthians 13 and revealed to me that I can't even love my neighbor as myself – I don't even know how to love people of like-mindedness, much less the broken, the addict, the prostitute, the orphan, or the widow. I most certainly loved God and I believe that my heart was pure; however, it was time for God to shed light in an area that I was completely unaware of. It's easy to justify certain attitudes when your focus is only inward.
    It finally hit me that we all know in part and we all prophesy in part. Who am I to say that this person or that person is completely wrong while claiming that I'm completely right when we all only have pieces of the puzzle (as far a knowledge goes)? In other words, for the first time in my life, what I thought I already knew became a concrete reality – I don't know everything. I don't know everything and neither does anyone else, and that's what makes the binding of love so beautiful. My only option is to pursue love, to pursue “that which is perfect” (Christ-the embodiment of perfect love) and to display that perfect love in all of my relationships. This blog post is me becoming the man that God intends for me to be, putting away childish dialogue, understanding, and thoughts. 
    I'll swallow my pride once and for all and love every single one of you with the radical love of Christ. I'll spend my time praying for you rather than picking you apart. The criticism, judgment and jumping to conclusions has come to a final and fatal end. And I'll look forward unto Christ – to that glorious day when I no longer see through a glass darkly but face to face. I'll know even as I'm known as the embodiment of perfect love looks upon me, inviting me into his everlasting embrace. 

To the vast majority Jesus was simply a carpenter's son- ordinary, good and without influence. When he began his ministry he was recognized as a friend of sinners and an enemy of "so called" saints; he was homeless, ugly, despised and rejected. He was an unsuccessful king and a let down to Israel (at least from a worldly perspective). To Peter he was, "the Christ, the Son of the living God-" yet Peter denied him three times. To Judas Iscariot he was worth following- yet Judas de-valued him to thirty pieces of silver, betraying him to his death. To Thomas he was, "My Lord and my God-" yet Thomas doubted him.

In reality he was Emmanuel, God with us. 'He was he who threw into space racing planets, whiling worlds and luminous suns; he created the world with its beauty of flowers, majesty of rippling rills, glassy seas and lofty mountains; he placed the twinkle in the stars, the sparkle in the planets, and the blaze in the sun; he set the furnace of the sun on fire, called the queen of the night into her orbit, and set the stars dancing in the heavens.' (excerpt from "Behold the Man," Frances Lincecome)

On the night that he died the sky went dark because the Light of the world died and all creation shook because he who stilled stormy seas submitted to death. The veil of the temple was torn from top to bottom to reveal an empty seat of mercy and the absence of a golden box. Three days later, having led captivity captive, the Light came back, bursting the seals of the tomb to dust. The glory returned, never to die again (Romans 6:9). And yet John 1:10 still remains true today that "He is in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world does not know him."

The moment of wonder- when earth stood still and heaven became real, for the first time in forever.
And walking with God in the cool of the day was no longer words on a page- it was life.
Deep called to deep and made the ocean look shallow- a puddle of water after the storm.
Time's tables turned backwards and less looked like more.
Death became birth, killing became healing, demolition became building and numbness became feeling.
Weeping turned to laughter, sorrow to dancing- nothing was wrong.
Then with no warning it seemed like he'd left,
My lungs were left void of breath and the moment of wonder turned to obscurity- I must have been unworthy.
So I searched the whole earth to find heaven again,
During my journey I lost heaven within.
I looked at others and saw dead, pale corpses, stagnant and utterly worthless.
Comparison became judgement (that subtle snare of pride).
Rationale was reality, logic replaced love and fatih faded to only a fleeting fantasy- out of reach.
And here you have a hopeless scene.
The moment of wonder will wander away if you choose to wander when you're supposed to wait.
Go back to the place where it seemed like he'd left- and when you get there, rest.
He'll return with great glory, a blessed reunion,
The wonder of heaven restored within Jesus' communion.

​To Whom it May Concern,

    My name is Jonathon Parrish, I am a full time evangelist in the Church of the Nazarene on the North Carolina District. I am writing to share my heart, and burden with you in an attempt to raise awareness for the desperate need of genuine revival among our congregants and also the evangelism of the lost. I believe that the responsibility falls on all of us but our desire must become our reality by way of deliberate, intentional faith, hunger, and obedience.
    It has become clear to me as a young evangelist that the prevailing thought among many in the holiness movement is that “revival” services are outdated and ineffective. In some cases it is assumed that the money in church budgets could be better spent elsewhere rather than wasting it on revival expenses toward services that most people will not even bother attending. I can't say that I completely disagree with that perception to some degree.
    The role of the evangelist has been minimized over the past several years to preaching legalistic services in the Spring and Fall with the hope that the same stagnant congregants will be “revived” and maybe a few lost souls will wander in and be saved. The enthusiasm usually lasts a week or two before fizzling out and our churches are left at square one with a “desire to have the desire.” Our response to this has unfortunately been to trash the ministry of revivalism, quit calling the evangelist and chalk the shortcomings up to an outdated structure.
    I've discovered through intimate prayer, self examination, and God's word that the problem is not the structure, the problem is our heart. Revival has become a formal staple on the calendar, we call the same people, hear the same messages, and somehow hope for a different outcome. Preparation for revival among the congregants usually includes reading about it in the bulletin and being reminded about it a month prior to it's happening. There's very little spiritual preparation put into action. Private prayer, corporate prayer (the prayer meeting), fasting, intimate worship (opposed to going through the motions) has been neglected for far too long. Our faith has diminished to an abstract principle that we talk so much about but never apply the needed action to make that faith a reality.
    In no way am I condemning anyone, change starts with me. I'm tired of preaching to blank stares and religious people. I'm tired of the same, mundane process without any power and empty praise. It's time for a return to genuine, New Testament Christianity found in the book of Acts. We need more than just an awakening, I know many people who's eyes are open and still refuse to take action. It's time that our faith become deliberate; it's time that we pray like tomorrow isn't coming; it's time that we prepare our hearts like Jesus is coming this very moment. I want the burden that I have for the lost to result in the salvation of souls (2 Peter 3:9). If our fire is contained to the four walls of our sanctuaries then we're no better than a religious fireplace, offering warmth and comfort but lacking the capacity to spread beyond our containment.
    I believe that revivalism is for the church and that evangelism is for the lost. When we neglect one or the other, we miss both. For those of you who've neglected the ministry of revivalism and/or evangelism, I would encourage you to reconsider; for those of you who've gone about revivalism and/or evangelism in a legalistic way, I encourage you to change.
    Lastly, I would like to tell you a story about a man on death row. He'd spent several months rejecting the company of any chaplain or religious figure. After a while, and only to prove a point, he allowed one timid chaplain the opportunity to come to his cell and visit with him. He already knew what the chaplain would say, as he was familiar with the customs and formalities of most supposed Christians. The day came that the chaplain was to visit with the prisoner and their conversation went as follows:
    “It's a pleasure to meet you sir, may I share with you a story?” said the chaplain.
    “Of course you may,” said the prisoner.
    The chaplain went on to tell him the story of Jesus and how our savior was born of a virgin, crucified a convict, and resurrected a king. He told the lonely prisoner of the saving power and love of Christ.
    In response to the beautiful message of salvation the prisoner replied, “That is the most beautiful story that I've ever heard. It's a crying shame that it's not true.”
    Quickly, the chaplain inserted, “Well my friend, I must disagree with you, as I do believe that every part of that story is the truth.”
    The prisoner's piercing gaze thrust it's attention square into the eyes of the timid chaplain, piercing his soul. He said to the chaplain, “Why would I believe that the beautiful story that you just told me is true when you clearly don't believe that it is true yourself?” Before the chaplain could defend himself the prisoner continued, “You've come here to talk to me in an effort to convert me to Christianity and if you were to be successful you would go to your friends and fellow chaplains and gloat of your success; for you were able to accomplish what no other chaplain was able to accomplish in leading this old, bitter, condemned prisoner to Christ. When in fact, if our positions were switched, and if I was the one who held the message of eternal life, Jesus Christ, heaven to gain and hell to lose in the chambers of my heart- I tell you, that I would not rest day or night, I would walk on hands and knees if that's what it took, I would pay any price no matter how severe the consequences to take that message to every living soul throughout the length and breadth of the entire world.”
    We won't have revival again until we realize once again the severity and eternal weight of the message that we claim to hold in our hearts. We are in desperate need of desperate hearts. I love you all and ask you to pray for me as I pray for you.

Jonathon Parrish

You know what Luther said the little bird said to him? He sat upon a twig of the tree, and he sang-

Mortal, cease from toil and sorrow; 
God provides for the morrow.

And it chirped and picked up its little grain, and sang again. And yet it had no granary; it did not have a handful of wheat stored up anywhere; but it still kept on with its chirping-

Mortal, cease from toil and sorrow; 
God provides for the morrow.

    While kneeling in front of the couch that's located just under the only window in our <400 square foot apartment the other day, I heard a familiar sound. The sound that I heard was the chirping of birds outside of the window. It's possible that they were picking at the blueberry bushes, or snatching sticks out of the gutters to build a nest, or maybe they were just singing because they realized how blessed they are to be unbound by culture and forms. For a moment I envied the chirping birds.

    I've heard the birds chirp outside of the window many times before- in fact, it's usually the first sound that I notice every morning that I wake up. This time, however, was different than other times. I heard the birds chirping and found myself greatly convicted, and feeling a bit condemned by the reproof of their harmless song. 

    The birds outside of my window did not have a care in the world. They weren't worried about where their next meal would come from, or how they would accomplish the tasks of the day that would be set before them; they weren't complaining (the solemnity and harmony of their voices confirmed that), and they weren't striving for anymore than the purpose for which they were created. They were joining in with the rest of creation, harmonizing with all of nature, declaring the glory of the Lord with unbridled, unquestioned obedience to the Creator of the ends of the earth.

    Sometimes I find myself caring too much about things that aren't worth the time to care about. It behooves me (and would you also) to consider the sparrow, the lilies, and the birds of the air that gather into barns. The birds (along with the rest of creation) do not worry, they simply give thanks and trust God. I'm reminded of the Scripture in Philippians 4:6-7: Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep our hearts, and minds through Christ Jesus. Godliness with contentment is great gain and we're of more value than many sparrows. 

    We have to come to the place that we truly believe that our God is “I AM.” He has “Thrown into space racing planets, whirling worlds and luminous suns; he has created a world with its wonders of animalisms, beauty of flowers, majesty of rippling rills, glassy seas and lofty mountains; he has placed the twinkle in the stars, the sparkle in the planets, and the blaze in the sun. He has stretched out the heavens like a scroll, scooped out the valleys, and piled up the mountains; he's carpeted the earth with verdant green, laced it with running brooks and flowing rivers, he's set the furnace of the sun on fire, called the queen of night into her orbit, and set the stars dancing in the heavens.” (Behold the Man, Francis Lincecome) Our God owns the cattle on a thousand hills!

Psalm 19:1-6 (KJV)

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.
There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.
Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun,
Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race.
His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.

    To make a long story short: trust the Lord, believe that he is, and don't worry about it. Somewhere in his comprehension of eternity your situation is taken care of. Commit your way to him, trust in him, and he will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:5). And above all, take a lesson from the birds chirping outside of your window- praise God, give him thanks, acknowledge him above all else in your life- while taking no thought for tomorrow. Our heavenly Father knows what we have need of and the greatest thought on this side of eternity in regards to prayer is not that God answers prayer; but rather, that God is our Father. Within the capsule of time that we live in, we don't have any time to waste worrying about temporal matters- not when eternal decisions are made in time.

​    I don't think that I need to brief anyone that reads this on the recent happenings regarding HB2, celebrity boycotts, and Target's bathroom policy. I've personally taken a step back over the past few weeks for the sake of observation and mature thinking. There are several things that have to be established before I write any further:

*Our enemy is not humanity, our enemy is Satan (and all of his forces). See Ephesians 6:12.
*Because our enemy is spiritual, our primary defense should also be spiritual (prayer). See 2 Corinthians 10:3-6.
*A wise man always counts the cost before he goes to war. See Luke 14:31.
*If we're Christ's disciples, we have nothing to lose because we've renounced all that we have; we should have counted the cost when we decided to follow Jesus. See John 15:20.
*Jesus never loses- he's the embodiment of victory.
*There's a time to speak and a time to be silent; a time for peace and a time for war. See Ecclesiastes 3.

    Keeping all of that in mind, I'll cut right to the chase: We're guilty of contemplating a matter under the guise of “wisdom” when we're actually spineless cowards that are unwilling to stand. In the American church we coward underneath the statement “choose your battles wisely” when we're actually just too scared to fight and too worried about our own reputation. It seems to me that those who say things like, “now is not the time or the place,” or, “social media is not the proper platform,” are the same folks that want to have a conversation and then never do anything about it.

    My question is, If now is not the time or the place to stand then when and where is? It's so easy to stand behind a wooden stand, or sit on a wooden stool, addressing the same, dead and dry congregants, raving about the immorality of our country. We tell it like it is as long as the audience is absent of raging liberals that are going to try to bite our heads off and spit on us (I'm guilty too). We have a backbone that holds up against the brethren that are in agreement yet folds when faced with the possibility of persecution. Keeping our mouths shut when we should be shouting from the rooftops is just another form of political correctness with Christianity attached to it. 

    It's funny how we'll come out of the wood works to discuss (publicly) how terribly immoral it is for Tom Brady to deflate footballs and then treat severe attacks against morality and Christianity as non-issues. And then there's the group saying, “I'm pretty sure that God has bigger things to worry about rather than what bathroom people use.” If that pathetically ambiguous attitude is not reflective of lukewarm then I don't know what is. Just stand in the middle and don't make anybody mad- give me a break- that's cowardice, not wisdom. We need to quit being the “rational” guy and become the “radical” guy- it's pathetic nowadays that it's unsafe to assume anything about the professing Christians convictions and morals. 

    Now that all of that's been said, there's one more (most important) issue. In 1 Kings 17 and 18 God commanded the prophet Elijah to do two things in regards to his (God's) message to King Ahab: Go hide yourself, and go show yourself. 

    Part of the problem is that we're showing ourselves (standing) when we should be hiding ourselves (praying/communing with God), or we're hiding ourselves when we should be showing ourselves- there's a place for both. Our power comes from communing with God in private, solitary places- not rallies, petitions, or protests (though those are all good and effective when executed in proper order). What I'm trying to say is that we cannot expect to accomplish anything if we're not praying against the demonic forces that are running rampant in our country right now. We cannot expect to have any power in our witness, or our standing for what is truth, if we've not sought God (faithfully) in the secret place of prayer.

    The core problem is that society has shifted to the place where evil is called good and good is called evil. I would go as far as to say that recent happenings are instruments of God's judgment upon America. God is giving America exactly what America wants: a Godless country (see Romans 1:18-32). 

    The church has grown cold because our motivation for serving is no longer the anguish of our Lord's heart; but rather, the hurt of humanity- that's humanism. Our priority is not Christ, it's people. Our motivation has become broken people rather than a broken savior. There was never room in the world for Christ and there is never room for the world in Christ. 

    Lets show the world a different form of Christianity- one that stands for and ministers the truth in love, refusing to back down, not because of principles, but because of passion; the same passion that led Christ to the cross. The passion that has led many martyrs to their death joyously as they died for a reason worth standing for- Jesus Christ.

As we draw close to Christmas time and the end of 2015 I can confidently say that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Our first year of full time, traveling evangelism has been one of the toughest, yet fulfilling, seasons of my life (I speak for both Mika and I). I always dreamed that traveling full time would be full of adventure; I wasn’t completely wrong about that.
    
Between the last week of June and the entire month of July, I was (graciously) given the responsibility of preaching over thirty times in a span of forty days. Aside from frequent pulpit supply and a few (four to five service) revivals from January to May, this was my first taste of itinerant evangelism in its exhausting entirety. God was certainly faithful throughout that season and the Spirit was moving tremendously during our meetings and also during times of secret prayer and intercession. However, at the end of July our opportunities in ministry started to taper off. A couple of pulpit supplies were scattered throughout August and September, finances weren’t great, and we were living in my dad’s attic. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit discouraged by my “situation.”
    
So here I am- I've been married for almost four years, I've moved my wife into my dad's house to live in the attic (200 sq. ft.) and I feel like I don't have anywhere to preach. On top of all of that my former employer was lobbying for me to come back to work- this was a tempting offer considering my “situation.” My natural instinct was question what I was doing wrong or if the decisions that Mika and I had made were outside of God's will. I felt like the ultimate loser.
    
My perspective was changed when I realized the severity of a certain prayer that I pray often, “Lord, make me more like you.” I have to become useless before I'll ever be used. Ministry was no longer about being a hero that swoops in to save the day, or recognition, or preaching clever sermons- it was about seeing how much of a nobody I could become for the sake Christ and his Gospel. If the climax of Christ's earthly ministry was a cross, Why should I expect any better? Christ was answering my prayer, “Lord, make me more like you.” I wanted the glory of God without the suffering, the crown without the cross; God quickly changed my perspective.
    
As if living in my dad's attic wasn't bad enough- Mika and I were then faced with one of the hardest ordeals that we've ever had to deal with in our marriage. Mika had a miscarriage. It was like the one glimmer of happiness was extinguished in a matter of ten minutes at a doctors office. We went in for an ultrasound expecting ecstasy and left feeling emptiness. I went to the place that I always go but didn't get the results that I’d always gotten. Talking to God was suddenly harder to do.
    
Every time I prayed I felt like there was nobody on the other end. But God is good, his mercy endures forever and his love is inexhaustible. He knows the way that we take, and when he has tried us we will come forth as gold. We walk by faith and not by sight and that's much easier said than done.
    
It was on the backside of the desert, in the wilderness, keeping my Father’s sheep, in the trivial valleys of desolation and dry bones, in the midst of fire, winds, and earthquakes that I heard the still small voice of God reminding me of one, simple fact; “Jon,” he said, “I am with you always, even to the end of the world.” I realized that Circumstances cannot control me because God Almighty, the creator of the ends of the earth is the author of the entire, eternal story that has been written and determined from the foundations of the earth. I was reminded that God has an expected end for me and my only responsibility is to trust him. 
    
As seeing him who is invisible, with the help of God’s Holy Spirit, my eyes were fixed beyond what is temporal and I am now able to see what’s eternal. Christ is my vision, my goal, my life, my hope; it’s no longer a matter of knowing about him, I know him. I can honestly say that Christ is pre-eminent and my desire is that Christ will be all that my eyes are capable of seeing as Mika and I move forward in life and in our ministry. My prayer is that I become invisible that Christ may be more visible in my life than ever before; that I decrease that Christ may increase.
    
His grace truly is sufficient and it will continue to be sufficient in every season (good or bad). Although the first year has been trying, it has also been rewarding. I can only remember five or six Sundays that God did not provide a place for me to share his word with people. He has allowed me to minister in rehab centers, nursing homes, local churches, and even a few new states. Mika and I have met people that we will never forget; people that have left an eternal impression on our lives. God has given us the opportunity to pray with people, see lost souls saved, and saved souls sanctified. 
    
In 2015, the Lord saved my dad, his girlfriend Brittney, my little brother (Josh) and his girlfriend Kristen. I was able to preach a homecoming revival at the church that I grew up at. During that revival my little brother played and sang a song that he wrote; and for the first time in six years (on a Monday night) my entire family was in attendance (Praise the Lord!). At the end of the day I truly believe that I am the most blessed individual on the face of the planet. Christ has saved my entire family, he has given me a wife that kind words cannot adequately describe (an entire book should be dedicated to her), and he lets me preach his word. 
    
The greatest blessing of all is that I wake up every morning and talk face to face with the eternal being that created all that my eyes behold and who is responsible for every good thing in my life. He walks with me, talks with me, and even when it seems like he’s not there I know that he is because that’s what he promised. As long as God gives me breath and being I'll preach his word, love my wife, intercede for souls, and steadfastly strive for Christ.
    
​Moving into 2016, Mika and I covet every prayer that we can get; pray for our marriage, our ministry, for lost souls, for nationwide revival, etc. We sincerely thank every person that has contributed to our ministry in prayer, financially, by way of recommendations, and we thank every pastor and church that has allowed us to share our ministry with yours. One thing is certain in the middle of all uncertainty; Jesus Christ will be the same in 2016 as he was in 2015 and because of that, we have nothing to worry about. We love you all more than you'll ever know. Merry Christmas and God bless.

Jon and Mika Parrish