9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
There have been some things weighing on my heart for quite a while now. There are some confessions that I have to make and I stand in need of the forgiveness of everyone. God and I have dealt with this issue deeply, on a spiritual level; it's time, however, that I deal with this issue on a personal, people level. In short, there have been times that I have been the most critical, self-absorbed person to (probably) walk the face of the earth. There have been times that I have accused successful people of being false teachers simply because I perceived that they were more successful than me. There have been times that I thought that I deserved more than what God was seeming to give me because I thought that I was more faithful than the rest. In the (not so distant) past I have been spiritually and emotionally immature. The good news is that God has changed me in this regard, it's been painful but it's also been worth it.
It all started when I began praying “Search me, O God, and know my heart – Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.” I started asking God to teach me to love as he loves and to empower me with gifts of the Spirit and the assurance of those gifts. In my pursuit of love, God led me (of course) to 1 Corinthians 13 and revealed to me that I can't even love my neighbor as myself – I don't even know how to love people of like-mindedness, much less the broken, the addict, the prostitute, the orphan, or the widow. I most certainly loved God and I believe that my heart was pure; however, it was time for God to shed light in an area that I was completely unaware of. It's easy to justify certain attitudes when your focus is only inward.
It finally hit me that we all know in part and we all prophesy in part. Who am I to say that this person or that person is completely wrong while claiming that I'm completely right when we all only have pieces of the puzzle (as far a knowledge goes)? In other words, for the first time in my life, what I thought I already knew became a concrete reality – I don't know everything. I don't know everything and neither does anyone else, and that's what makes the binding of love so beautiful. My only option is to pursue love, to pursue “that which is perfect” (Christ-the embodiment of perfect love) and to display that perfect love in all of my relationships. This blog post is me becoming the man that God intends for me to be, putting away childish dialogue, understanding, and thoughts.
I'll swallow my pride once and for all and love every single one of you with the radical love of Christ. I'll spend my time praying for you rather than picking you apart. The criticism, judgment and jumping to conclusions has come to a final and fatal end. And I'll look forward unto Christ – to that glorious day when I no longer see through a glass darkly but face to face. I'll know even as I'm known as the embodiment of perfect love looks upon me, inviting me into his everlasting embrace.